Not Quite Failure, but... Attempt Two - Day One

My journey to quit porn doesn't just spawn from porn itself, but rather from my desire to only have eyes for my wife. I didn't fall to porn yesterday, but I did find myself lusting over beautiful models, mostly clothed. I want to make sure that I don't waste time with other women period. I need to learn how to have healthy friendships and not look at ladies with dirty intentions. I'm starting a new attempt to keep myself honest. This world is full of references to sex. Television and movies are full of sexy women and infidelity.

The general level of modesty in our country has dropped so drastically in the last twenty years that it becomes so hard to even walk through the mall without noticing some sexy girl with spaghetti straps and a mini skirt. I do alright in public, keeping my eyes to myself and focusing on faces, not cleavage. But when I'm alone, even a simple internet ad gets me to want to look at more women and that often leads to porn.

I want to be fully devoted to my wife. I know, in my heart, that I am already, but I want every aspect of my life to scream my love for her. God didn't create sex to be shared with whomever wants it, but for two, loving people - a husband and wife. I want that special bond with her and her alone.

So here we go again - Attempt Two - Day One.

Day 11

Keeping busy with work and having friends over for dinner eliminate possibilities for tempation. Day 11 was a breeze. Nothing else to say I guess... except goodnight!

Day Ten

If you've read these posts, I haven't given up! I have been out of town since my last post and haven't had internet access. Without internet, I couldn't post - or look at porn! So this is day ten and I'm feeling good! I know I'll be busy the next several days, so temptation will be at a minimum, and I'm traveling next week, again without internet. I praise God for giving me opportunities to be busy and forget about my dark secret. I know He's with me and taking care of me.

Thank you for reading this blog and supporting me and praying for me. If you want to talk about anything or maybe find an anonymous accountability partner, just e-mail me at quittingforgood@live.com. I know I'm not the only one trying to quit porn. Know that you are also in my prayers. God bless!

Day Two

This is day two of my journey to quit porn. I've been busy all day and expect to be busy till at least Sunday. When I've got something to do, porn is the last thing on my mind. Which is why this post is short...

God bless!

Attempt One - Day One

Hello. Like millions of men on this Earth, I have an addiction to pornography. Some men welcome the addiction, but most seem to realize that it's not a good thing. It's unfair to girlfriends, wives, platonic friends, God, and - most importantly - yourself. I first started looking at porn about six years ago. At one point I couldn't stop myself from looking at it daily. Now it's only once a week or so, but I just can't seem to kick the habit. Other than this addiction, I've had healthy relationships with girls. My wife knows about it and wants to help me, but right now I prefer to remain anonymous.

The purpose of this blog is to journal my battle against porn. I'm hoping it will give me something to actively direct me in the right way. I'm also hoping to find others struggling with the same problem. Feel free to comment on my blog or e-mail me at quittingforgood@live.com. You'll notice that the title of this blog is "Attempt One - Day One." This is not my first attempt to quit, but is my first day blogging. This blog will continue, updated daily (or as close to it as I can), until I can last an entire year without porn. Some blogs will be short, some a little longer. The longest I've gone without porn so far is about four months. Since then, I gave up. I'm not giving up this time.

God and my family are the most important things in my life. I can never repay them for the sins I've committed on the Internet, but from this point forward, I intend to never disappoint them in that way again. Thanks for reading, and if you're struggling with similar problems and want someone to talk to, I'll be available.

May God Bless